Soap is not a condiment
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Randomize
