Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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