all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
