Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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