Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
