omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
