My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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