I feel like abortions should bother me more
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
third nipple confirmed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
