Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
