There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
