bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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