Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
