I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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