sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
