BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
