I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
