Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
