Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
