i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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