I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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