why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
