There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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