Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
