Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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