That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
