Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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