When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize