Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
