lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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