I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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