Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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