Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
thus making me awesome and them whores
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
