I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
