last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
