You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
