And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Its about making memories worth repressing
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize