Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
time to smoke my breakfast
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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