I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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