You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
