i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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