you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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