I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
