ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize