I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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