Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
