i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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