I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
