wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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