hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
