I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
