It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sorry about my life...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
