On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
