thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
