Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
