woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize