I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
