Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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