Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
