maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
