the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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