Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
