Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
