i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
