I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
