There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
