what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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