Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
