I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize