we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
