My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize